comfort

Sometimes friends and loved-ones don't know what to say, other times they just can't be found.
​If you need words of comfort to strengthen you along your grief journey,
we're here to support you through the following resources:
CareNotes:
CareNotes are short Christian-based publications developed by the monks of Saint Meinrad Archabbey. 3ABF provides them free of charge to bereaved families and other loved-ones. These pamphlets include insight and support for a variety of needs. Following is a list of the topics covered:
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  1. 12 Reflections for the First 12 Weeks of Grief
  2. A Serenity Prayer for Grievers
  3. Be Gentle With Yourself While Grieving
  4. Dealing With the Anger That Comes With Grief
  5. Dealing With Guilt After a Loved One's Death
  6. Feeling Overwhelmed by One Loss After Another
  7. Finding God in Times of Loss
  8. Finding Your Way After the Death of a Spouse
  9. Five Things To Help You Heal When Grief Is New
  10. Five Ways to Get Through the First Year of Loss
  11. Getting Through the First Weeks and Months After the Funeral
  12. Getting Through the Holidays When You've Lost a Loved
  13. Giving Yourself Permission to Grieve
  14. Grief Is What Heals You
  15. Grieving in Your Own Way
  16. Grieving the Loss Your Grandparent
  17. Grieving the Loss of Your Parent
  18. Handling Grief as a Man
  19. Healing Thoughts to Soothe a Grieving Heart
  20. Healing Your Grief Through Prayer and Mediation
  21. Honoring Your Loved One's Memory With a Personalized Funeral
  22. Living With Loss While Others Are Celebrating
  23. Losing Someone Close
  24. Losing Your Grandmother
  25. Losing Your Husband
  26. Losing Your Wife
  27. On the First Anniversary of Your Loss
  28. Scripture Can Help Heal Grief
  29. Six Sources of Strength After Your Spouse Dies
  30. Taking the Time You Need to Grieve Your Loss
  31. Talking With a Child About a Loved One's Death
  32. The Good Funeral
  33. The Signs and Symptoms of Unresolved Grief
  34. The Ten Biggest Myths About Grief
  35. What Everyone Should Know About the First Year of Grief
  36. What's Really "Normal" When You're Grieving?
  37. When You Didn't Get to Say Good-Bye
  38. When Grief Won't Go Away
  39. When Death Comes Unexpectedly to Someone You Love
  40. Widowhood-12 Things You Can Do On Your Own
  41. Wondering If Cremation Is the Right Choice

Please feel free to Contact Us or drop by our office to make arrangements to have a CareNote mailed to you. 
It's O.K. to Cry
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There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are messengers of overwhelming grief, of deep contrition, and of unspeakable love.
​Washington Irving
​​Allow Yourself to Grieve 

Let grief do its work. Tramp every inch of the sorrowful way. Drink every drop of the bitter cup. Draw from memory and hope all that they can offer. To see the things our loved ones have left behind will give us daily pain - the clothes they wore, the letters they wrote, the books they read, the chairs in which they sat, the music they loved, the hymns they sang, the walks they took, the games they played, their seat in church, and much more beside - but what would we be without those reminders? Would we like quickly to break with the past in order to assuage grief? Those who truly love will say that they have found in sorrow a new joy, a joy which only the broken-hearted can know.
W. Graham Scroggie
Coping With the Pain
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​Pain, the gift nobody longs for, still it comes. Somehow leaves us stronger, when it's gone away . . .
From In the Waiting, by Dave Clark, Don Koch and Greg Long
It is sometimes only through suffering that we begin to listen to God. Our natural pride and self-confidence have been stripped painfully away, and we become aware, perhaps for the first time, of our own personal needs.
David Watson, Fear No Evil
Finally, a remarkable thing begins to happen. You notice that for short periods the hurt is not so great. This is the beginning of your healing.
Sharan Morris
Scars are the price of scepters. Our crowns will be wrested from the giants we conquer. Grief has always been the lot of greatness. It is an open secret.

The mark of rank in nature
Is capacity for pain;
And the anguish of the singer
Makes the sweetest of the strain.
​
Tribulation has always marked the trail of the true reformer. It is the story of Paul, Luther, Savonarola, Knox, Wesley and all the rest of the mighty army. They came through great tribulation to their place of power.
Selected
Finding God in the Midst of Grief 

God does not open paths for us in advance of our coming. He does not promise help before help is needed. He does not remove obstacles out of our way before we reach them. Yet when we are on the edge of our need, God's hand is stretched out.
J.R.M
God never uses anybody to a large degree, until after He breaks that one all to pieces. Joseph had more sorrow than all the other sons of Jacob, and it led him out into a ministry of bread for all nations. For this reason, The Holy Spirit said of him, "Joseph is a fruitful bough . . .by a well, whose branches run over the wall" (Gen. 49:22). It takes sorrow to widen the soul.
From The Heavenly Life
When obstacles and trials seem
Like prison walls to be.
I do the little I can do
And leave the rest to Thee.

And when there seem no chance, no change,
From grief can set me free;
Hope finds its strength in helplessness,
And calmly waits for Thee.
From Streams in the Desert
In the sorest trials God often makes the sweetest discoveries of Himself.
From Gems
Oh, brethren, be great believers! Little faith will bring your souls to heaven, but great faith will bring heaven to your souls.
C. H. Spurgeon
Words for Friends of Those Who Are Grieving 
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Do small things with great love.
Mother Teresa
There are times when those who grieved cannot be pleased. They can only be loved.
Paula D'Arcy, in When Your Friend is Grieving
Everyone is so anxious for me to get better. They don't want me to hurt. But I do hurt, and I need to cry. If I put on a brave face, it only helps them. It drains me.
Paula D'Arcy, in When Your Friend is Grieving
A definition of mercy: Climbing into the skin of someone and feeling and moving and touching with their hands, walking with their feet, seeing through their eyes hearing with their ears, moving with their feet, beating with their heart.
Anonymous
Scriptural References:
As a faith-based nonprofit organization, 3ABF truly believes that God has provided many words of truth, comfort and strength in the Bible. We encourage bereaved families and loved ones to seek out and hold fast to God's word for your healing.
Though the list is far from exhaustive, following are some scriptural references to get you started:
Picture
"For My thoughts are not your thoughts,
Nor are your ways My ways," declares the Lord.
"For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
So are My ways higher than your ways
And My thoughts than your thoughts.
For as the rain and snow come down from heaven,
And do not return there without watering the earth
And making it bear and sprout,
And furnishing seed to the sower and bread to the eater;
So will My word be which goes forth from My mouth;
It will not return to Me empty,
Without accomplishing what I desire,
And without succeeding in the matter for which I sent it."
Isaiah 55.8-1
​The Lord is your Shepherd...
Psalm 23
As the deer pants for the water brooks, so my soul pants for thee . . 
Psalm 42
God is our refuge and strength . . . be still and know that I am God . . 
Psalm 46
. . . He sent His word and healed them and delivered them out of their destruction . . 
Psalm 107.19-22
From where shall my help come - my help comes from the Lord
Psalm 121
He heals the broken hearted and binds up their wounds
Psalm 147.3
He will swallow up death for all time, and the Lord God will wipe tears away from faces . . .
Isaiah 25.8
Do not fear, for I am with you . . .
​Isaiah 41.10
 I, even I, am He who comforts you . . .
Isaiah 51.12-16 
 He was despised and forsaken of men . . .Surely our griefs He Himself bore . . .
Isaiah 53.3-5 
Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.
Matthew 5.4
Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you . . .
John 14.27
But in all these things, we overwhelmingly conquer through Him who loved us . . .
​Romans 8.37-39
Behold, I tell you a mystery; we shall not all sleep, but we will all be changed . . .
1 Corinthians 15.51-57
Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort . . .
2 Corinthians 1.3,4
Be anxious for nothing . . .
Philippians 4.6-9 
But we do not want you to be uninformed, brethren, about those who are asleep . . .
1 Thessalonians 4.3-18
. . . They will hunger no longer, nor thirst anymore; nor will the sun beat down on them, nor any heat . . .
Revelation 7.14-17
. . . and He will wipe away every tear from their eyes . . .
Rev. 21.3-5